Hank & Greta: A Cautionary Tale

*Hey guys! I’ve been giving myself different, fun writing exercises to distract myself from the world and discovered an unhealthy interest in butchering fairy tales! Enjoy!!* Greta: Well, she came highly recommended on Airbnb, but I’m starting to think all those reviews were made up. I mean, ALL of them mentioned candy and I thought […]

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Bunker Down: How to Survive a Nuclear Holocaust

The shit beacons have been lit, kids! President Orange Colostomy Bag has pissed off our allies (YOU LEAVE MEXICO ALONE YOU FUCK), picked fights with nuclear capable superpowers, diarrhea-ed all over the constitution, AND has a bona-fide Nazi whispering sweet who’s-such-a-good-boys in his ear. All in under two weeks! Inspired by the sudden, very real […]

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Abby Normal: Put the childhood candle back.

Being a High School band dork in Southern California came with the bonus of being able to participate in Disney Magic Music Days when the opportunity arose. This, was amazing. We got to learn about the music production process for scoring animation and mill around in restricted areas. Pulling back the Disney veil and seeing […]

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We’re in the shit, so let’s shovel it: Telling our story in America.

America celebrated yet ANOTHER 39th birthday last week (seriously. who does she think she’s kidding). I observed the holiday with a house full of overheated punks, ‘murican beer, Irish whiskey, and enough food to feed the troops at Valley Forge. Oh, and fireworks. Honestly, New Orleans abuses its fireworks privileges (EVERYTHING gets fireworks. Private party, […]

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Schrodinger’s Walking Dead: Alive. A-dead. Amazing.

Opinions are like genitals: Everyone has them, sometimes they smell. The internet, in addition to its essential function as a tool for communication and education, allows the average idiot to spread photos and ill-informed yet extraordinarily detailed analysis of their diseased genitals across the globe. Opinion genitals arrive in gmail boxes, cleverly disguised as the […]

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Suddenly, a wild Negan appears! Rick uses sad face. It’s super not effective.

With the internet set adrift in a dinghy of negativity regarding Sunday’s season finale of The Walking Dead, (Shoulda been set adrift on memory bliss , amiright? I KNOW I’M NOT IN CHARGE) I have charts (not really), graphs (yeah…no), and several eye-witness accounts (blatant lies) ready to back up my solid conclusion regarding the ultimate radness […]

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